This is the dude who bought this lion as a cub in the 60’s, and then when it got too big, he let it into the wild. 10 years later, it was like the alpha male in a nature reserve in Africa and was really violent. The guy went to see it, and it walked up to him and gave him a hug.
forever my favorite photo ever taken
This is so cool.
A bold statement? Perhaps. But, I challenge people to dispute me, because Eddard Stark has got to be one of, if not the most, badass character in history.
Now, for anybody who doesn’t know who Eddard Stark is, he’s the lead character in the first novel of “A Song of Ice And Fire” series by George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones (and played by Sean Bean in the tv series, which will be discussed later).
Eddard, Lord of Winterfell, is mid/late-thirties with a fucking strong sense of justice and an even stronger sense of honour. The man does what needs to be done and does what is right. He’s pretty much the moral compass of the series for the entire first book.
Sure, most of his POV chapters are littered with tidbits of depressing lines and all that. He goes on about secrets and lies he’s been keeping for 14 years, but that only makes him cooler. Instead of coming off as whiney and annoying, like his daughter, Sansa, does, Eddard seems to become more praiseworthy of it. He always, above all, protects his family.
And he wields a greatsword called Ice like it’s nobody’s business. All he does is kick ass and take names.
In one flashback, Eddard, accompanied by 6 others, take on 3 of the most Elite-group of knights in the series - the Kingsguard. Granted, only Eddard and one of his allies live to walk away from that fight, he basically takes on the equivalent of 3-Supercharged Aragorns and lives to tell the tale. What’s more, the only ally that lives is a scrawny wee guy who people called useless. But, does Eddard ever brag? Oh, hell no. He’s a chill as a cucumber.
Eddard might not have been the best player in the Game of Thrones, sure. But that only makes him seem all the more human. He runs and tells Cersei Lannister, the biggest bitch in the Universe (and also on the “Women I Would Punch In The Mouth” list), what he’s planning on doing, but we all make mistakes.
Most of what we see of Eddard’s personality is, primarily, from Jon and Robb, two of his sons. Both mimic Eddard’s keen sense of duty and honour. Robb is a beast on the battlefield, and Jon proves himself awesome at pretty much anything he does.
Almost everything else we hear about Eddard, especially later in the series, is from other characters, big and small. Enemies note Stark as a worthy opponent, while friends talk about him as a man who knew how to treat people fairly.
Bigger boss in fiction today? Bitch, please. He’d beat the shit out of Link anyday. Gandalf? Please. Eddard would convince Gandalf that, instead of fighting, it’d be better if they both just went and beat the shit out of everybody else. Heck, Eddard is so much of a boss he could traverse the fabrics of the universe and beat the shit out of Jimi Hendrix’ reanimated body.
He’d also catch the bullet that shot JFK. With his teeth.
A couple of weeks ago, Mum asked me what I wanted for Christmas, as was her wont this time of year, considering the season.
Regardless, she was surprised when I answered that I wanted a Suit. You see, I had a suit, but I left it over in the states because I had more important things to bring back with me. Hardly a day goes by when I don’t regret that decision.
Suiting Up is one of the greatest things on the planet. Today, I tried my suit on. Only two things have exceeded the sheer awesomeness of it in my entire life; sex, and sex.
The only time you are closest to the King of Bros, Mr Barney Stinson, is when you have suited up. Suits are the ultimate force for good on the planet.
Well, Suits and Lava Lamps, but we’ve already covered the latter….
So I’ve already done a list of Women I Would Punch In The Mouth, and it’s only fair that I do one for guys, too. So, here goes….
Tim Burton, Toby Mcguire, Jude Law, every male character in Call of Duty apart from Sgt Reznov, Soap, and Captain Price, Kurt Kobain, Sigmund Freud, John Maynard Keynes (twice), Lady Gaga, the bassist from Queen (but not willingly), every Male contestant every to appear on “The X Factor” “Britain’s Got Talent” “America’s Got Talent” or any similar tv series.
Every male character in Glee aside from Matthew Morrison, any male who thinks he is cooler than Samuel L Jackson, Quentin Tarentino, Shao Khan from Mortal Kombat, Cloud from FF7 (and all of his fanboys), Uchiha Sasuke (and all of his fanboys), Darth Vader (For having the most epic black-man voice ever and being white), Snoop Dog, Lil’ Wayne, Flo Rida, Usher (repeatedly), and Beck.
Spiderman, Batman, the Green Goblin, Scar from the Lion King, Nicholas Cage, Curious George, George Bush (Jr and Snr), Ghandi (only once, though, and I’d cry afterwards), Charles I, Ned Flanders, and the bad guy from Judge Dredd.
“First Immortality…then the bitches”
He rode through the streets of the city,
down from his hill of high,
O’er the wynds and the steps and the cobbles,
he rode to a woman’s sigh.
For she was his secret treasure,
she was his shame and his bliss.
And a chain and a keep are nothing,
compared to a woman’s kiss.
For hands of gold are always cold,
but a woman’s hands are warm.
Hippies had it all right. All of it.
I think it’s pretty safe to say that Mankind reached the pinnacle of it’s time on earth with the invention, and perfection, of the Lava Lamp.
Who seriously wants some boring ass light in their room? You can sit and watch that thing all day and it’s not gonna move. A Lava Lamp, on the other hand, offers hours of entertainment and sets a fucking awesome psychadelic mood.
I mean, can you imagine coming home from a long day at school or work, whatever, and sticking on your lava lamp, hitting play on your Chillout Playlist, just laying back, and totally spacing out? If weed were free, eh?
What else has Mankind made that had as much influence as the Lava Lamp, seriously? Trains, what the fuck are those? The Microwave? Lava Lamps can heat things too, so fuck you, single-purpose kitchen appliance, we don’t want your kind in here! Even medicinal shit like Aspirin? Fuck that, Lava Lamps are secretly magical, and give the gift of joy to all. It’s like Christmas all year round. In a lamp. A LAMP.
You see this saying thrown around everywhere quite a lot. In fact, I doubt there’s more than a handful of people who probably haven’t heard it in UK Culture. It’s a good saying, no?
But, I think some people need a slap with the Old Wives’ Wisdom stick for not listening. Nothing lasts forever. Nothing. And that’s not a bad thing at all.
I see so many people clinging on for dear life to things that don’t make them happy. You know what made me happy for about 4 years? My Playstation 2. Fucking loved that thing. It’s dead now. Like, seriously dead. After a while it started scratching disks and being a general fuckwad and broke. Granted, had I taken better care of it, it COULD still be here, but hey, ifs and buts.
My point is: If you either aren’t happy in something you’re doing, or can’t see yourself happy in something you’re doing, then why do it? I sure as hell don’t like people taking a whack and my sack, so I don’t walk around with a “Free Hit On My Balls!” sign strapped to my chest. Granted, it’s not easy giving things up, but I’d sure as hell remember good times over bad. For instance, I must’ve spent at least a month playing GTA:San Andreas on the, now-deceased, PS2. It was fucking awesome. I’d rather remember that over how crap the PS2 got before it died. Enjoy it while it lasts, and once it stops lasting, then move on. If it doesn’t stop lasting, then you’ve got something special.
It’s a good way to live, I think